Bribing Monkeys

Bribery. I don't know how I feel about it. In the spectrum of life's troubles I'd definitely give bribery a 6/10. Mainly for effort. For reference, i'd also give a 4/10 for what to wear to 6th form and a 1/10 for the colour I'm going to paint my nails (and by the way, it's gold). A mighty 10/10 would be appointed to deciding what call my autobiography with out sounding like a generic D-list celebrity.

I think of bribery as doing something you wouldn't usually do for some form of personal gain, like money. But bribery is fickle.

I've willing submitted to bribery, probably on a weekly basis. But I think in some situations bribery is one of the best methods to realize you're and absolute idiot.

I've been bribed for pride. That's pretty poor. Eating a whole A4 piece of paper in no way gives any form of pride. Not even bragging rights. Pathetic. But I still did it and here I am bragging about it.

I've been bribed for money that wasn't even given to me after I did it. In hindsight, licking walls for 20p spreads disease and is not worth it.

But on serious issues, such as 'if you jump off that bolder, possibly plummeting to your sorry death, I'll buy you a premium sea monkey set'. i'd advise you jump. Sea monkey's a are expensive but great. REALLY GREAT.

I'd like to point out that if your friend does ask you to this, whether your 7, 16 or 87 (or any age inbetween), buy your own Sea Monkeys. They are not worth potentially dying for, no matter how names you think up for each of them.

But going back to 'doing something you wouldn't usually do for some form of personal gain' would work be classed as bribery?

If you had the option to either file away 8683 files into a mediocre, rusting, grey filling cabinet or spend the day being massaged by tiny golden monkeys trained by monks to give you the ultimate back massage, which would you choose? Unless you have a serious issues with trained massage monkeys you are guaranteed to pick a spa day instead of filling. But it makes me sad that we only do things if money is involved and we're getting paid for it.

You are getting bribed to go to work. I don't want that. I never will hate going to work, paid or not. I hate that we are so dependent on money these days, that almost makes me sound old and wise, I can absolutely assure you that i am neither. But I wish people had more of an open mind to doing things out of the (cliché alert) goodness of their heart.

I realise I've gone a bit serious and less fun so I thought I'd tell you a fact about me:

Sometimes, just sometimes - and mainly in winter - I like to shower in the dark. Make of that what you will, judge me apon it if you must, but I'm telling you it's the best fun. Think of playing hide and seek but blind.