Rosette Winner

There are some jobs that I can completely rule out for my future. A teacher once told me that in order to work out what you want to do you have to work out what you don't want to do. I've been wondering lately what I want to, I'm narrowing it down.

I could never be a teacher. Children? Surely looking after small, messy, smelly, snotty children does not entice anyone? 6 hours a day being called, 'Miss' continuously would kill me. I'm not a massive fan of children anyway. I don't hate them, kids are great, but not with me. I dread to think what my child is going to turn out like. Ladies and gentlemen, lock your windows and doors.
I couldn't be a policeman. I have a lot of respect for coppers, but that is not me. Not at all. I'm the least scary, authoritative person in the world. I'm not a push over but I freak out and crumble under pressure, so arresting a big scary man or woman (women can commit crimes too you know) with the potential to kill me is not appealing. But I do love policemen and women, they deserve more credit than they get.

I couldn't be a horse trainer. I have a small issue with horses; they smell, they require exercise, they wear out your jeans, they don't generate much income unless you ride in ascot or what ever, and lastly I'm not really a fan of horses. Don't get me wrong, I think they are absolutely stunning and without a doubt beautiful but I'm certainly not in love with them. The last time I rode a horse I was 5 and I cried my eyes out because the the trainer wanted me to do a 'round the world' - it's not a euphemism it's what she told me to do - and I cried. But I did get a rosette thus showing crying is for winners. FACT.

I couldn't be a guard at Buckingham Palace, not that I want to be a disservice to the dear old queen but they stand there for hours on end without speaking to anyone, not being able to laugh and looking immaculate for hours and hours on end. It's commendable, don't get me wrong, it's commendable, but I can barely stand for 2 minutes without slouching and getting so incredibly bored I want to die. It's a start though.

The final job that i could never ever do is being a guide dog. There are some fundamental issues, such as; I don't know any blind people, I don't own a florescent jacket and I'm not a dog. I really would be a rubbish guide dog. I get distracted so easily it's embarrassing. The other day I was in the middle of a conversation with my Dad about some deep techy-political stuff that actually could  matter to me when I spotted the street lights reflecting on the rain droplets on the window and it was really beautiful and reminded me of fireworks and sparklers and glitter and pretty things. see? poster child for distraction right here.